I've lately become acutely aware of my relations to other people. Superficially, they are easy to define, but you can't always pin these things wriggling to the wall, as Eliot would say. Indeed, the people in our lives are so many grains of sand sifting through are spread fingers; however, it is neither our responsibility nor our mission to seize them in balled fist. To do so would be to desecrate the will and sovereignty of the individual. Rather, we accept the ones lying in the lines of our calluses and bends of our hands. What a joy are these grains, seemingly small compared to ourselves yet still miniature infinities, as continuously subdividable as we are.
I've also learned the necessity of the Search in our lives, thanks to Walker Percy. He's right; according to recent polls, 85% of Americans believe in a supreme being, while 15% don't. This doesn't leave a solitary percent for a seeker. As The Moviegoer points out, I'm either a hundred miles behind my countrymen or a hundred miles ahead. But this search is more than just a religious one; science and ethics play integral roles. Through science, I could someday potentially achieve a complete knowledge of the physical nature of the universe, but my knowledge would be incomplete. That is, I could understand the universe and even the physical nature of my own body, but myself and my mind would be remainders. And so, I must search into my mind with the tools I have available: ethics, religion, and science.
Perhaps I have been led to the study of psychology by a latent need to pursue this search, but psychology too will fail to provide me complete fulfillment; it is reductionist in that it can only tell me how I am different from other people; uniqueness is only a small facet of self.
No, I need something broader, something that can remove me permanently from the malaise of the everyday mundaneness. Change and disaster are two options, repetition and revolution are two more (read Heidegger if you're confused).
I don't know where I'm going, but my feet are pointed in the right direction
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Soundtrack:
Bonnie Brae - The Twilight Singers - Powder Burns
Circumstances - Rush - Hemispheres
Gunslinger - Over It - Step Outside Yourself
The Heinrich Maneuver - Interpol - Our Love to Admire
In the Name of All That's Evil on the Earth - Get Set Go - Ordinary World
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1 comment:
Ever feel like no one reads these things? I had one for a while but no one read it. I got discouraged easily and took it down.
I didn't update enough to justify it anyway.
Just to let you know, you've got at least one reader whether or not I comment.
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