Shades of gray

This one needs a lot of work.

The Gray

Poor pastors insist God lives in a book
And in the hearts of those who love him,
But I found him neither on white pages
Nor abiding in our black human hearts.
Neither convincing, I looked for the gray.

I scanned the floors of ethereal planes;
In view was the border of black and white.
I stalked closer and straddled the divide.
Courts and clergy insist there is no gray;
Convicts and congregations know better.

Prostrating to see a clearer image,
I tried to find God in the gray area.
Before I was aware, I was swallowed;
The gray all about me, I heard His voice.
He asked me what it was I wished to know.

Questions of Epicurus' came to mind:
If willing to stop evil, unable?
If able to stop evil, unwilling?
If both, from what gruesome void springs evil?
If neither, then why do we call you God?

His voice bade only, Wrestle me, my child.
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I'm still decidedly atheist, but I can't help but wonder about possibilities. I feel caught between two irreconcilable beliefs: those of science and religion. I can't deny the proof science has presented to me, but spirituality is something that interests me intensely. Sometimes I wonder why I pay any mind at all to religion--it's spawned bigotry and hatred based on the beliefs and prejudices of societies ignorant of the true nature of the universe. Yet the existence of a supreme being of some sort can neither be positively confirmed or denied. And so, I've found myself scouring my mind for gray areas that may present even a modicum of compromise. Though it's not in my usual nature, I'll take a hint from Jacob and try to wrestle with this whole "God" thing.