Ad stylum, ad armum.
Okay. So, perhaps not arms. We’ll try this again.
Ad stylum, ad Hadem cum omne.
That’ll do. There’s time for writing and there’s time for fighting, and sometimes, there’s enough time for both. Take that, Mr. Berra.
Let’s take a little logical jaunt here. Let us consider the facts.
- Not many people read this blog.
- Fewer people will remember a post that I wrote and deleted a while back.
- Even fewer have connected that post with my Myself, Inc. ad.
- Fewer still will be happy with me by the time this is over.
We now have something to start with. It’s now appropriate to observe some evidence. I present to you, Exhibits A, B, and C.
A: Easy to derive, but hard to integrate.
A = (Misdirected Spite + Self Deprecation + Quirkiness)/Number of shots
B(F McTC): Easy to integrate, often affected by extraneous variables.
B = (Shamelessness + Moodiness + Cup Size)/Number of simultaneous romantic interests
C: Collective of mutual integers shared by A and B.
There are the exhibits. How are they connected?
- A = B, but A and B are not compatible integers.
- A and B are irrational numbers, therefore they will be referred to as Ai and Bi.
- C is compatible with both Ai and Bi, but not concurrently.
- Unless C = 1, C is not compatible with Ai. If C ≥ 1, C is compatible with Bi.
- Ai really really freaking misses C, but is both too unsure and cynical to bother asking anything of C. Ai has fond memories of C, but wonders of C is really worthwhile.
Please pardon that last one. It got away from me. Really, though. C’mon, C. It’s been way too long. Some of your components try, but only one without some prodding, and even then, that’s infrequent. Is it time to pack it in and move on? Ai really wants to know.
I really hate being dramatic like this. I really do. It pisses me off, and it pisses everyone else off. You know I want to ignore what’s going on. But I need to know what’s up.
Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Or, if your not a smoker, crumble it over your oatmeal. Whatever works.
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